Another Trip to Vernal

Friday, as my work day was winding down, I spontaneously decided to make a trip to Vernal. Taron and Keaton were with their dad and Bella and I didn't have any plans in particular. In truth I was just really missing Abete and wanted him to hold me in his arms.

As I drove out of Vernal on Sunday evening, I knew my little excursion was worth it. See, I am watching time count down to the big day and all I can think about are ways to add more days back on. It is not that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him, it is more like we can't get divorced if we never get married. Yeh, probably not the right way of thinking. Ok, I truly believe Abete and I knew each other before, long long ago. I believe that the broken road we have both traveled brought us together. I understand that things from my past have made me appreciate what I have found in him. And for that reason I don't want to ruin what we have. I do want to marry him on January 10, 2009. I know that is one step closer to my dreams coming true.

Not to long ago I almost made a different decision. I found myself with someone that didn't really want what I wanted but said they loved me and that should be enough. He would marry me as long as I gave up some of my dreams. Well, I found myself thinking maybe this is all there will be for me. It may not be what I have always dreamed, but hey, it is better than nothing. For a long time I struggled with walking away from "something" vs. holding out for what I believe in.

It was hard to walk away. My mom felt the pain (for that I am sorry). However, eventually I had to trust that settling was not an option. Then, this amazing peaceful and mysterious man drifted into my life. I am so grateful for the blessing he has been to me and my children. I am so thankful for the joy he shares with me. As I drove out of Vernal, I thanked my Heavenly Father for whispering I would one day have every promise fulfilled and that even I was worthy of those blessings. At the time I didn't believe it was possible.

I don't believe in fairy tales, but maybe, just maybe, dreams do come true.