Theme Song

I saw this video on a friends status update on Facebook.  It is a song I have heard in the past.  However, the meaning hit me HARD.  Looking back, it has been 8 1/2 years since I made the decision to leave a dysfunctional relationship.  My world was closing in on me and I felt I needed to protect my children.  The years have not been easy.  At times I have asked if my decision was for the best.  Then, I look around.  I see the beauty of the blessings in my life.  I look at the four sweet spirits that start and finish my day.  How could I ask for it any other way?

Saying the words, "single mother" has often stung as it passed over my lips.  While still a love hate relationship with this label, I have grown to focus more on the second word than the first.  I am a mother.  I cherish the role I have been called to.  Recognizing this is a gift, I aggressively defend my status.

That said, I also recognize I do not make this journey alone.  Single, really?......I have found a partner in my Savior, Jesus Christ.  He will not fail me.  My parents, family and friends are a constant support.  Through my ward family an army of defenders has stepped forward to protect my family.  We have a Bishop to guide us, home teachers to counsel us and so very many sisters to sustain me.  My cup runneth over with countless blessings.

So why is She Let Herself Go my current theme song?  Playing and replaying this song has reminded me of just how much I have.  A relationship came to an end.  Someone I put all my trust and faith in, failed me.  But there is life after marriage from 8 years ago.  There is life after a recent break-up.

There are adventures ahead.  Success to achieve.  Destinations to discover.  Cookies to bake.  Stories to read.  Band concerts to attend.  Recitals to watch.  Poems to read.  Walks to take.  Mountains to climb.  Rivers to float.  Slobbery kisses to enjoy.  Letting myself go, giving myself permission to enjoy all that there is in this life.  Maybe I will go on a singles cruise, maybe not.  Maybe I will take a trip to New York City, maybe not.  Wherever my path will lead, I am certainly going to let myself go.